St. Louis Sailing Center — Showcases this yacht broker's new and used boats, parts, accessories, and services.
Databases and your Web site
You can add tremendous dynamic functionality to your Web site through the use of databases. Product lists, membership systems, customer login areas -- all are easily done with database programming. Below are some examples of what Tropical Web Works can help you do.
Or display your entire database
The below quotations are displayed alphabetically by the name of the source, but data from a database can be displayed in any order and in any format you desire.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Attributed to: A.J. Liebling, 1904-1963
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Every individual necessarily labors to render the annual revenue of society as great as he can. He generally neither intends to promote the public interest, nor knows how much he is promoting it. He intends only his own gain, and he is, in this, as in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was not part of his intention.
Attributed to: Adam Smith, Wealth of Nations
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
Attributed to: Albert Einstein
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced.
Attributed to: Albert Einstein
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Attributed to: Albert Einstein
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
Attributed to: Albert Einstein
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Attributed to: Albert Einstein, 1879-1955
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.
Attributed to: Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
Attributed to: Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.
Attributed to: Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
HABIT, n. A shackle for the free.
Attributed to: Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
Attributed to: Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
Attributed to: Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)
Attributed to: Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Whenever you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, because they'll stop making it.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Murphy was an optimist.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The mere existence of a problem is no proof of the existence of a solution.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Is there life before coffee?
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything tends to look like a nail.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Cruella DeVil to her personal valet: "What kind of sycophant are you?" ... His response: "What kind of sycophant would you like me to be?"
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
One out of every four people in this world is mentally unstable. Think of your three best friends. If they seem normal, you're the one.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The facts, though interesting, are irrelevant.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I may be schizophrenic, but I'll always have each other.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Visualize whirled peas.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Schopenhaur's Law of Entropy: If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel of wine, you get sewage.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
74.6 percent of all statistics are meaningless.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The Cardinal Conundrum: An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Logic is a systematic method of arriving at the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day. Give a man a fishing rod and he'll sit in the boat drinking beer for the whole weekend.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
No man's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Don't leave things unfinishe
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Everything takes longer than you think.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If a person with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I've already forgotten more than I'll ever learn.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Those who judge others will burn in Hell!
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Avoid Alliteration. Always.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
One should never generalize.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Avoid cliches like the plague.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Profanity sucks.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I always try to do things in chronological order.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I have a twin brother; he's identical, but I'm not.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If you believe in telekenesis, raise my hands.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Rehab is for quitters!
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Some people type so fast that forget to include
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
When all is said and done, much more is said than done.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
My identity lies in not knowing who I am.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Entropy just isn't what it used to be.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don't believe in dragons.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Accidents don't just happen. They must be carelessly planned.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Be consistent (but not all the time)
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I do what people were put on earth to do. I talk to friends, read, play, laugh, study, visit museums, create, learn, explore the world..... And every once in a while, I step away from my Macintosh for a breath of fresh air.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If your dream is to discover new oceans, you must have the courage to lose sight of the shore...
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Doing a thing wrong for a long period of time gives it the superficial appearance of being right.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I am Dyslexic of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with every Microsoft product.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
(I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.)
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Free people are not equal. Equal people are not free.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Handguns don't kill people....
nearly as well as automatic assault weapons do.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Hookd on foniks wurkd four mee!
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Think for yourself.
Live free.
Foil the plans of tyrants.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Be careful when playing under the anvil tree.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
"Oh, Bother," said Pooh, as he hid Piglet's mangled corpse.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
If we can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them, they must become happy.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The function of government is to protect me from others. It's up to me, thank you, to protect me from me.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Be careful with puns, remember to always practice safe lex and use a conundrum.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Socks should match your pants, and your belt should match your shoes. After that, if anyone complains, tell Œem they should be happy you're wearing any clothes at all.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen all at once.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that twenty years or so won't cure.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
You can have peace, or you can have freedom. Don't count on both at once; place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
Attributed to: Anonymous
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
There is no insanity so devastating in man's life as utter sanity.
Attributed to: Anonymous, From a spam I received
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on December 6, 2004
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Attributed to: Arthur C. Clarke
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the idea is quite staggering.
Attributed to: Arthur C. Clarke
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand, 1905 - 1982
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday...The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Thinking men cannot be ruled.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There can be no such thing, in law or in morality, as actions forbidden to an individual, but permitted to a mob.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged (John Galt)
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you ask me to name the proudest distinction of Americans, I would choose... the fact that they were the people who created the phrase "to make money." No other language or nation had ever used these words before... Americans were the first to understand that wealth has to be created.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It only stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Man is a being with free will; therefore, each man is potentially good or evil, and it's up to him and only him (through his reasoning mind) to decide which he wants to be.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
They proclaim that every man is entitled to exist without labor and, the laws of reality to the contrary notwithstanding, is entitled to receive his "minimum sustenance" his food, his clothes, his shelter, with no effort on his part, as his due and his birthright. To receive it, from whom?
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Wealth is the product of man's capacity to think.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
In any compromise between good and evil, it is only evil that can profit.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
"Did you really think we want those laws observed?" said Dr. Ferris. "We want them to be broken. You'd better get it straight that it's not a bunch of boy scouts you're up against... We're after power and we mean it... There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What's there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced or objectively interpreted “ and you create a nation of law-breakers “ and then you cash in on guilt. Now that's the system, Mr. Reardon, that's the game, and once you understand it, you'll be much easier to deal with."
Attributed to: Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged, 1957
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged (Francisco d'Anconia)
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you ask me to name the proudest distinction of Americans, I would choose - because it contains all the others - the fact that they were the people who created the phrase "to make money." No other language or nation had ever used these words before; men had always thought of wealth as a static quantity- to be seized, begged, inherited, shared, looted or obtained as a favor. Americans were the first to understand that wealth has to be created.
Attributed to: Ayn Rand
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I am a strong believer in luck and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
Attributed to: Benjamin Franklin
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Attributed to: Benjamin Franklin, 1755
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The purpose of government is to rein in the rights of the people
Attributed to: Bill Clinton
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When we got organized as a country and we wrote a fairly radical Constitution with a radical Bill of Rights, giving a radical amount of individual freedom to Americans ... And so a lot of people say there's too much personal freedom. When personal freedom's being abused, you have to move to limit it.
Attributed to: Bill Clinton
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Attributed to: Bill Gates, Chairman of Microsoft, in 1981
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Attributed to: Billy Crystal, "City Slickers"
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other.
Attributed to: Carl Schurz, 1829 - 1906
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
A day, an hour, of virtuous liberty
Is worth a whole eternity in bondage
Attributed to: Cato
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It is sobering to reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
Attributed to: Charles A. Beard
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it.The disk I gave her was write-protected.
Attributed to: CIO of Dell Computers
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there.
Attributed to: Clare Booth Luce
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.
Attributed to: Contest entry, Lykes Lines Shipping
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business
Attributed to: Contest entry, Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.
Attributed to: Contest entry, Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.
Attributed to: Contest entry, R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
"How About Friday?" My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday.He said, "That would be better for me."
Attributed to: Contest entry, Shipping executive, international florist company
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.
Attributed to: Contest entry, Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above."
Attributed to: Contest entry, Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!"
Attributed to: Contest entry, New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.
Attributed to: Corporate memo
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
Attributed to: Dan Quayle, Vice President
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
P-O-T-A-T-O-E
Attributed to: Dan Quayle, Vice President
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
See, when the Government spends money, it creates jobs; whereas when the money is left in the hands of Taxpayers, God only knows what they do with it. Bake it into pies, probably. Anything to avoid creating jobs.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Most of the presidential candidates' economic packages involve "tax breaks," which is when the government, amid great fanfare, generously decides not to take quite so much of your income. In other words, these candidates are trying to buy your votes with your own money.
Attributed to: Dave Barry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
We have rights, as individuals, to give as much of our own money as we please to charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to appropriate a dollar of public money.
Attributed to: David Crockett, Congressman 1827-35
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy on the streets?
Attributed to: Dick Cavett
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second-rate technology, who led them into it in the first place.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:
1. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.
2. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.
3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...); the other was the fact that the century would end.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
Attributed to: Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you're expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Attributed to: Erma Bombeck
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
Attributed to: Ernst Jan Plugge
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
What a free society offers to the individual is much more than what he would be able to do if only he were free.
Attributed to: F.A. Hayek
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Our forefathers made one mistake. What they should have fought for was representation without taxation.
Attributed to: Fletcher Knebel, Historian
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
My favorite animal is steak.
Attributed to: Fran Lebowitz
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
But how is this legal plunder to be identified? Quite simply. See if the law takes from some persons what belongs to them, and gives it to other persons to whom it does not belong. See if the law benefits one citizen at the expense of another by doing what the citizen himself cannot do without committing a crime.
Attributed to: Frederic Bastiat
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It is impossible to introduce into society a greater change and a greater evil than this: the conversion of the law into an instrument of plunder.
Attributed to: Frederic Bastiat
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
Attributed to: Friedrich Nietzsche
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger
Attributed to: Friedrich Nietzsche
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid.
Attributed to: Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The right of revolution is an inherent one. When people are oppressed by their government, it is a natural right they enjoy to relieve themselves of oppression, if they are strong enough, whether by withdrawal from it, or by overthrowing it and substituting a government more acceptable.
Attributed to: Gen. Ulysses S. Grant
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
Attributed to: George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
Attributed to: George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Attributed to: George Bernard Shaw
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on April 27, 2005
Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action.
Attributed to: George Washington
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
We are free not for the collective, not for utility, not for practicality, not for beauty or divinity or dignity or art. We are free because we cannot be otherwise, ever, no matter what. We are free because we cannot be chained by anyone without our consent.
From:
http://www.presenceofmind.net/GSW/Steak.html
Attributed to: Greg Swann, How to make the brains run on time, or Let 'em eat steak
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The time to fight for Liberty is while you still have some.
Attributed to: Greg Swann
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The reason humans must live in a condition of liberty is not because permitting us to be free is a good way to deal with the poor or racial or sexual bias or the environment or animal abuse or TV violence or pornography or even the problems of the starving millions abroad. The reason humans must live in a condition of liberty is because this is the way we are made.
From:
http://www.presenceofmind.net/GSW/Steak.html
Attributed to: Greg Swann, How to make the brains run on time, or Let 'em eat steak
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I am telling you, sir, that no one can buy health care! Health care is too important to be bought and sold!
From:
http://www.presenceofmind.net/GSW/Health.html
Attributed to: Greg Swann, When you've got your health, you've got everything
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Living is what you're doing when you're too enthralled to notice. Dying is what you're doing when all you can do is notice. Our destiny is not to die without ever having dared to live. Our destiny is to thrive. Without shame. Without apologies. And without one instant of shrinking. I worship what you can become. I beseech you to become it and rejoice boundlessly in your enormity.
From
http://www.presenceofmind.net/GSW/Psalm.html
Attributed to: Greg Swann, Psalm
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Be who you are. Do what you want. Have what you love.
From:
http://www.presenceofmind.net/GSW/Cam.html
Attributed to: Greg Swann, Cameron's Legacy
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If I'm going to go to the trouble of putting on fishnets and heels, then, by god, I'm going to strut. If no one stuffs tender notes of legal tender in my drawers, so much the worse for me. But ecstasy ain't free. It ain't even cheap. And on Saturday night I'm just another field nigger with ambitions, hiding from the tawdry in the glare of a mirrored ball. But if tawdry is all I can have without compromise, then tawdry is all I want.
From:
http://www.presenceofmind.net/GSW/About.html
Attributed to: Greg Swann, Whoredom, boredom, love, lust and a great big tree
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Attributed to: Groucho Marx
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you see a snake, just kill it. Don't appoint a committee on snakes.
Attributed to: H. Ross Perot
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
Attributed to: H.L. Mencken
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
Attributed to: H.L. Mencken
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.
Attributed to: H.L. Mencken
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
Attributed to: H.L. Mencken
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Attributed to: H.L. Mencken
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
Attributed to: H.L. Mencken
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
Attributed to: H.L. Mencken
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Attributed to: Henry David Thoreau
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Attributed to: Henry David Thoreau
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Attributed to: Herm Albright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that so called 'Volunteers' don't even get paid?
Attributed to: Homer Simpson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?
Attributed to: Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
As we learned from the Clinton administration and much of the media, a machine gun in the hands of a federal agent is now a symbol of benevolence and concern for a child's well-being.
Attributed to: James Bovard
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
For target shooting, that's okay. Get a license and go to the range. For defense of the home, that's why we have police departments.
Attributed to: James Brady
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
One day I sat thinking, almost in despair; a hand fell on my shoulder and a voice said reassuringly: "Cheer up, things could get worse." So I cheered up and, sure enough, things got worse.
Attributed to: James Haggerty
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I may be too drunk to drive, but I'm not too drunk to off a pig!
Attributed to: Jim Ray, Memorial Day, 2000
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself.
Attributed to: Jimmy Carter, Message to Congress, August 2, 1977
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Nip the shoots of arbitrary power in the bud, is the only maxim which can ever preserve the liberties of any people.
Attributed to: John Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Actual evil probably requires much more creativity, passion, and political ideology than anyone at or near the top of Microsoft seems to possess.
Attributed to: Jon Katz, Hotwired
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library
Attributed to: Jorge Luis Borges, 1899-1986
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Expecting a carjacker or rapist or drug pusher to care that his possession or use of a gun is unlawful is like expecting a terrorist to care that his car bomb is taking up two parking spaces.
Attributed to: Joseph T. Chew
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
What a crazy world we live in! Trying to treat addiction as a legal problem, and trying to treat criminal misbehaviors using guns as a medical problem! Beam me up, Scotty. Ain't no intelligent life down here.
Attributed to: Julie Cochrane
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The First Amendment is often inconvenient. But that is besides the point. Inconvenience does not absolve the government of its obligation to tolerate speech.
Attributed to: Justice Anthony Kennedy
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The 2nd amendment was never intended to allow private citizens to "keep and bear arms." If it had, there would have been wording such as "the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."
Attributed to: Ken Konecki
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
...there is nothing -- absolutely nothing -- half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats....or with boats....In or out of 'em, it doesn't matter. Nothing seems really to matter, that's the charm of it. Whether you get away, or whether you don't; whether you arrive at your destination or whether you reach somewhere else, or whether you never get anywhere at all, you're always busy, and you never do anything in particular; and when you've done it there's always something else to do, and you can do it if you like, but you'd much rather not.
Attributed to: Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
That's a nice gun, and all guns are nice.
Attributed to: King of the Hill, Line spoken by Hank Hill
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Guns don't kill people; the government does.
Attributed to: King of the Hill, Line spoken by character Dale Gribble
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Hank: "The NRA is a Washington, DC-based organization. Are you telling me you support a Washington, DC-based organization?"
Dale: "...That's a thinker."
Attributed to: King of the Hill, Exchange between Hank and Dale
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Attributed to: Lily Tomlin
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is itself the highest political end.
Attributed to: Lord Acton
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Every good communist should know that political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
Attributed to: Mao Tse Tung
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?
Attributed to: Marcel Marceau
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me. I always feel that they have not said enough.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.
Attributed to: Mark Twain, 1835-1910
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
Attributed to: Mark Twain
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
Attributed to: Mary Wilson Little
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
Attributed to: Matt Groening
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.
Attributed to: Milton Friedman, Nobel Prize-winning economist
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
A society that puts equality...ahead of freedom will end up with neither equality nor freedom.
Attributed to: Milton Friedman, Nobel Prize-winning economist
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself.
Attributed to: Milton Friedman, Nobel Prize-winning economist
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If an exchange between two parties is voluntary, it will not take place unless both believe they will benefit from it. Most economic fallacies derive from the neglect of this simple insight, from the tendency to assume that there is a fixed pie, that one party can gain only at the expense of another.
Attributed to: Milton Friedman, Nobel Prize-winning economist
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The high rate of unemployment among teenagers, and especially black teenagers, is both a scandal and a serious source of social unrest. Yet it is largely a result of minimum wage laws. We regard the minimum wage law as one of the most, if not the most, antiblack laws on the statute books.
Attributed to: Milton Friedman, Nobel Prize-winning economist
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
WARNING: file deletion is a common cause of data loss!
Attributed to: mugane, From http://www.codewalkers.com
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 25, 2004
Things go on in this computer that I don't know why.
Attributed to: My Mother
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on April 23, 2007
A locked gun cabinet and a primaeval Macintosh desktop-publishing system, green with age, attested to the owner's previous forays into officially discouraged realms of behavior.
Attributed to: Neal Stephenson, Dr. X's lab, from Diamond Age
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Attributed to: Oscar Wilde
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The mystery of government is not how Washington works, but how to make it stop.
Attributed to: P.J. O'Rourke
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert, and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.
Attributed to: P.J. O'Rourke
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When a government controls both the economic power of individuals and the coercive power of the state ... this violates a fundamental rule of happy living: Never let the people with all the money and the people with all the guns be the same people.
Attributed to: P.J. O'Rourke
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Now majority rule is a precious, sacred thing worth dying for. But, like other precious, sacred things˜itÃs not only worth dying for, it can make you wish you were dead. Imagine if all life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza.
Attributed to: P.J. O'Rourke
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
Attributed to: P.J. O'Rourke
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There's only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
Attributed to: P.J. O'Rourke
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Are we at last brought to such humiliating and debasing degradation, that we cannot be trusted with arms for our defense?
Attributed to: Patrick Henry
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Liberals believe that people are basically stupid and government has to take care of them and conservatives believe that people are basically dishonest and government has to control them.
Attributed to: Paul Hager, (paraphrasing Karl Hess)
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Where else but in America could we read this news item?
A De Kalb County, Georgia, Superior court ruled that Gary Eugene Duda, 35, could change his first name to "Zippidy." Duda said that he had already been called "Zippidy" by friends for most of his life.
Attributed to: Peter McWilliams, Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do: The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in Our Free Country
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Go to church or the Devil will get you!!!
Attributed to: Roadside sign, Southern Alabama
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
Attributed to: Robert A. Heinlein
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Facts are stupid things
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the U.S.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the U.S.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the U.S.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
People don't start wars, governments do.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the U.S.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the U.S.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last--but eat you he will.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the U.S.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Cures were developed for which there were no known diseases.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, Commenting on Congress and the federal budget, 1981
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I hope you're all Republicans.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, To surgeons as he entered the operating room, March 30, 1981
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The Founding Fathers knew a government can't control the economy without controlling people. And they knew when a government sets out to do that, it must use force and coercion to achieve its purpose. So we have come to a time for choosing.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, Address to the nation, October 27, 1964
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, Speech near the Berlin Wall, 1987
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the U.S.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I believe the very heart and soul of conservatism is libertarianism. I think conservatism is really a misnomer, just as liberalism is a misnomer for the liberals--if we were back in the days of the Revolution, so-called conservatives today would be the Liberals and the liberals would be the Tories. The basis of conservatism is a desire for less government interference or less centralized authority or more individual freedom, and this is a pretty general description also of what libertarianism is. Now, I can't say that I will agree with all the things that the present group who call themselves Libertarians in the sense of a party say...
http://reason.com/9812/interviews.shtml
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the United States
Submitted by: publius on September 6, 2004
Government is not the solution to our problem. Government is the problem.
Attributed to: Ronald Reagan, First Inaugural Address, January 20, 1981
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Attributed to: Sam Goldwyn
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.
Attributed to: Samuel Adams
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est. (A sword never kills anybody; it is a tool in the killer's hand.)
Attributed to: Seneca, Letters to Lucilius
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I'ma done prayen, and ready to go to fighting.
Attributed to: Sgt. York
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
At this point, owning a car that shoots a fireball starts to sound like a reasonable idea.
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/robbery/carjack.asp
Attributed to: snopes, From snopes.com
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on October 5, 2004
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
My socks DO match. They're the same thickness.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I eat swiss cheese from the inside out.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I had amnesia once or twice.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies." So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The sky already fell. Now what?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're Shakespeare?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading...and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?"
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There aren't enough days in the weekend.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Droughts are because God didn't pay his water bill.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Is "tired old cliche" one?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When I get bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four and a box of three-by-fives.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Yesterday I found out what doughnuts are for. You put them on doughbolts. They hold dough airplanes together. For kids, they make erector sets out of play-dough.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I had my coathangers spayed.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?"
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I can't stop thinking like this.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
This isn't all true.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. What did you think?"
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, "Cut it out."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it sounds like. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, 'I think I might have written that.'
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I invented the cordless extension cord.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious!
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store...with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer." Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all the cars, "Get out of my driveway!"
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how."
She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right.
My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep."
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
Attributed to: Steven Wright
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws.
Attributed to: Tacitus, 56-120 A.D.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Carrot Juice is Murder
Attributed to: The Arrogant Worms
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.
Attributed to: The Boss
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Force is the vital principle and immediate parent of despotism.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
In matters of style swim with the current. In matters of principle stand like a rock.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
That government is best which governs the least.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
A wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson, First inaugural address, 1801
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and governments to gain ground.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one
Attributed to: Thomas Paine, Common Sense, 1776
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When performance is measured, performance improves. When performance is measured and reported back the rate of improvement accelerates.
Attributed to: Thomas S. Monson
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on April 9, 2005
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Attributed to: Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
When government throws cash on a fire, it tends to flare up rather than smother the flames.
Attributed to: Tom Ray, My husband
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Rich people buy more stuff from poor people than poor people buy from rich people.
Attributed to: Tom Ray, My husband
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
Attributed to: U.S. Constitution, Ninth Amendment, the Bill of Rights
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
The right of bearing arms for a lawful purpose is not a right granted by the Constitution; neither is it in any manner dependent upon that instrument for its existence.
Attributed to: U.S. vs Cruikshank
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If the jury feels the law is unjust, we recognize the undisputed power of the jury to acquit, even if its verdict is contrary to the law as given by a judge, and contrary to the evidence ... and the courts must abide by that decision.
Attributed to: U.S. vs Moylan, 4th Circuit Court of Appeals, 1969, 417 F.2d at 1006
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Private property was the original source of freedom. It still is its main bulwark.
Attributed to: Walter Lippmann
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Reduced employment opportunities is one effect of minimum wage legislation. The minimum wage law has imposed incalculable harm on the disadvantaged members of our society. The only moral thing to do is to repeal it.
Attributed to: Walter Williams, Economist and syndicated columnist
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There are many farm handouts; but let's call them what they really are: a form of legalized theft. Essentially, a congressman tells his farm constituency, "Vote for me. I'll use my office to take another American's money and give it to you."
Attributed to: Walter Williams, Economist and syndicated columnist
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
Attributed to: Weinberg, Weinberg's Second Law
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Attributed to: Will Rogers
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.
Attributed to: Will Rogers
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Attributed to: Will Rogers
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
All that is good is not embodied in the law; and all that is evil is not proscribed by the law. A well-disciplined society needs few laws; but it needs strong mores.
Attributed to: William F. Buckley Jr.
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
It's all for nothing if you don't have freedom.
Attributed to: William Wallace
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
Attributed to: William Wallace
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Not enough people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.
Attributed to: Winston Churchill
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Socialists think profits are a vice; I consider losses the real vice.
Attributed to: Winston Churchill
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
Do or do not. There is no try.
Attributed to: Yoda, "Star Wars"
Submitted by: Sonja Ray on September 6, 2004
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